Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Tuesday, December 15, 2015
God’s Love = Unconditional Love
So many people—that’s fallible people—have conditions riding on their love. “If” I do this, or “if” I am that. “If” you have a good education or “if” you have good connections. “If” he wears the latest fashions or “if” she drives the fanciest car. Unseen things, too. Expectations, and suppositions. Keeping up with the Joneses for love, and trying to get the brass ring on the merry-go-round that stands for love, even splurging on endless lottery tickets to win love.
As Henri Nouwen mentions, “There are endless ‘ifs’ hidden in the world’s love. These ‘ifs’ enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world’s love is and always will be conditional.” 
Ah, Lord. I am pierced to the heart. Do You love me? My fallible, self-conscious heart wants to know. Do You love me? That tentative, frightened, anxious child-inside is hesitant. Do You love me? Somehow, even though You have told me again and again, and over again, I just cannot believe it in my heart. Sometimes, that is. Usually, I can, though.
But there are those times …
Forgive me, Lord Jesus.
I believe. Help my unbelief.
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 Advent and Christmas: Wisdom from Henri J. M. Nouwen (Linguori, Missouri: Redemptorist Pastoral Publications, 2004), 34.