Tag Archives: apologize

Prayer, Critically Speaking

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Saturday, November 3, 2018

candle, prayer, hands

Prayer, Critically Speaking

I realize I have been praying—on and off, and it seems more off than on—for a number of years. A long time. I have been engaged in a continuing conversation with God since my teens. But when Father Nouwen made one particular statement in his slim little book on prayer, I felt as if I could not measure up. No way, no how. He said, “As your life becomes more and more a prayer, you not only come to a deeper insight into yourself and your neighbor, but you also develop a better feeling for the pulse of the world you live in.” [1]

I am sorry. I cannot see any way I can measure up to such a person of prayer as Father Nouwen describes. What can I possibly do to atone for my shortcomings in prayer? I keep telling God I will spend time in God’s presence, but I just don’t get there. It doesn’t happen. I keep missing my appointment times.

Yes, this is a continuing conversation I’ve had with God for decades. I keep apologizing, and then apologizing for the apologies. The Lord must be so sick and tired of my foolish speech and thoughts. (Even now, I feel so apologetic, and I am really sincere about it.)

At least God knows I feel the need for communication, and I also feel the lack of it. I badly feel the absence of God at my side, the desire to know the closeness and intimacy of God’s presence. Yet, I keep forgetting to pray. (But, then, I’ve been forgetting to call my doctor all week to get the results from a routine test. I know those results will be there, but I keep on forgetting…)

Dear Lord, gracious God, I thank You for Your forgiveness and grace. I throw myself—again—on Your abundant mercy. I know You must be getting sick and tired of me and my excuses, my forgetfulness. Forgive me, Lord. Thank You for Your love. Amen.



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Why not visit my companion blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.  #PursuePEACE. My Facebook page, Pursuing Peace – Thanks! And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er


[1] With Open Hands: Bring Prayer into Your Life, Henri J. M. Nouwen (United States of America: Ave Maria Press, 2005), 99.

Day #18 – Apologize? Who, Me?

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Tuesday, March 10, 2015

let's make them birds

Day #18 – Apologize? Who, Me?

I read today’s suggestion from #40acts with some interest. I know something about apologies, and I also know something about forgiveness. (Not to mention knowing something about resentments, which are sometimes by-products of what happens when an apology is never made or never accepted.)

Being unwilling to apologize . . . or unable. This has happened, truthfully speaking. Rigorous honesty constrains me to say this. However, sometimes I have waited for an apology. And waited. And waited some more. A few times, the apology never came. I tend not to gnaw over missed chances or oversights. If something doesn’t happen, that’s okay. Well, not exactly okay, but I do not plan on holding grudges for the rest of my life.

Now, every once in a while, I’ll have a situation that keeps coming back to my mind. Verging on a resentment. Like this situation I wrote about several weeks ago. I prayed about it for about two weeks, and truthfully, it left my mind. I stopped obsessing about it. Amazing, how that happens.

I am pleased to say that I don’t believe I have any outstanding apologies to make, right now. Of course, that may change. Any day now. Even, several times a day, sometimes. I step on toes sometimes. I misspeak or make mistakes, and those things ought to be taken care of as soon as I realize I have done them.

I loved the example given in the email today from #40acts: apologizing on behalf of someone else. What a great idea, and what a way to spread kindness, encouragement and generosity.

God, help me to have the wherewithal and gumption to apologize promptly, wherever and whenever needed. Thanks, God!


Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And read #40acts sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er .