Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, September 30, 2015
In the Beginning? Center on The Word.
The last day of September. My last day of Centering Prayer. My word of the day, my Name of God for today is Word. (As in, “The Word,” from the Gospel of John, chapter 1.)
I have always been strongly, deeply moved by this Name of God. (Or, preincarnate Name of the Son.) As I focused on The Word, John 1:1 kept running through my head.” In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
Surprisingly, I didn’t find myself focusing on the Logos, on the Greek word for The Word. Instead, I found myself centering on “the beginning” and then on before the beginning. What came before the beginning? What was here? (Or, there? Or, anywhere?)
I know, God was present before anything was created. And, I tend to gravitate towards images and imagery as well as sound. I thought of The Word being a spoken Word. And then, since I was contemplating “the beginning,” lo and behold! C.S. Lewis’s book The Magician’s Nephew popped into my head again, and the spoken Word morphed into Aslan singing the world containing Narnia into being!
How marvelous, actually seeing (in my mind’s eye, that is) the Creator of the heavens and the earth at work, creating the wonders and the glory of the worlds, and the solar systems, and the galaxies. Awe-inspiring does not even touch this.
And, that was what I centered on, today.
However, I am torn about finishing my month of Centering Prayer. Yes, relieved, since praying in this meditative way every day for a month was a huge stretch for me! (I am afraid I am not very good at this meditative style of prayer.) But, also partly unfulfilled. Or something. I am afraid I did not center or focus very well this month, at all. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being awful and 10 being stellar, I have the definite sense that I didn’t get much above a 3 on most days in September.
God, I’m sorry. I know You understand, but I’m still sorry. At least I was faithful, and I earnestly tried. I really did. And, thank You, Lord, for loving me anyhow, and listening to me as I pray. No matter what method I use or how I come before You.
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