Gentle Prayers for Peace at a Home-Going

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Monday, December 12, 2016

Gentle Prayers for Peace at a Home-Going

Today was a busy day. The Interfaith Gathering for Mutual Support and Prayer happened this evening and everything was very encouraging. Cold, frigid weather outside, but everyone was warm and supportive inside.

I praise God for such a good beginning. We will be meeting together again on the second Monday night of January, Jan. 9^th.

Except—that was not all for today, or tonight.

My elderly relative died quietly tonight. In hospice for a number of days, this loved one drew the final breath and crossed into the loving presence of our God.

A good many thoughts and feelings are going through my mind and my heart.

Dear God, thank You for the supportive, encouraging meeting this evening. Dear God, thank You for the support and encouragement my elderly loved one received over these past few weeks. As I watch a new thing coming to life, in the beginning of a new interfaith idea, I also grieve over the gentle death of my loved one. Please comfort all who grieve this night. Lord, in Your mercy, hear all of our prayers.

@chaplaineliza

 

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Why not visit my companion blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.  #PursuePEACE. My Facebook page, Pursuing Peace – Thanks! And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

We All Can Use Prayer

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Friday, November 18, 2016

We All Can Use Prayer

Know the experience of having a seriously ill loved one in the hospital? Yeah, me, too.

I am in that exact position, right now. An elderly relative is in hospice care right now. Yes, it is sad. Came into town a few weeks ago, and did not look good then. After a trip to the hospital, and a stint in rehab, back to the hospital five days ago. And just three days ago, in hospice. The situation has been changed (Upgraded? Downgraded?) to terminal.

All of which is relatively fast, for a time frame. (I ought to know, since as a former chaplain, I have some familiarity with hospitals. Not as much as some, of course, but I have more than a nodding acquaintance.)

Yes, it is different when it’s my loved one in the hospital. Except, it isn’t. Not really. Almost like I did in the hospital with a family in ICU with a patient who was actively dying. Except for my family, it’s like I’m on 24-hour call just in case, with my ears wide open for any notice or call.

I still pray for the situation, and for the medical staff, and for the family and loved ones. I still am concerned for all of the long-distance friends. (Except, in this case, I am intimately acquainted with all of those concerned.) I still am there for others, whether they want to talk, or just have me be there, with them.

I repeat—it is incredibly sad.

Let us pray. Dear God, who holds the universe in the span of Your hand, You hold each of us in that same loving hand. We come before You with a multitude of hurts, of fears and anxieties, of pains and aches and untenable situations. We unload them here before You, dear God. Dear Holy Comforter, we ask that You come alongside of all those who grieve, who mourn, and who are hurting. Dear Heavenly Physician, we pray You may assist all those under the care of medical personnel. And, please—God—be with my loved ones as they gather together. I pray for the hands that touch that dear loved one—help all the hands to be loving, caring, thorough, and knowledgeable. Lastly, dear God, be with me. Help me to be there (in Your presence) for others as much as I am for myself. Dear Lord, in Your mercy, hear all of our prayers.

@chaplaineliza

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Why not visit my companion blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.  #PursuePEACE. My Facebook page, Pursuing Peace – Thanks! And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

In Which I Visit Hospice

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, June 29, 2016

In Which I Visit Hospice

I paid a visit to a dear, senior friend today. He is in a care center. He is in hospice care. The time is short. It won’t be long, now.

Even though I had not seen him often in the past eight or ten years, he and his wife lived in the same area my husband and I live in. We would run into each other on occasion. I haven’t seen him for almost a year. He has changed markedly.

We have a number of mutual friends and acquaintances, too. I understand—from the nurses’ station—that he has a number of visitors each day, trooping in and out of his room. A well-liked man, and a man with a definite sense of humor. I will miss him very much.

I feel odd, seeing my friend in hospice. He isn’t supposed to be there, in that hospital bed. He is supposed to be hale, and hearty, and making wise cracks. His wife would laugh, except when he made bad puns. (As would happen on occasion.)

He is not making wise cracks any longer. Sadly.

I know the drill. I was a hospital chaplain for almost ten years. What the heck, I have seen relatives and close friends in the hospital. I’ve been a pastor for more than two years, and I’ve seen parishioners in hospital beds before. But, somehow, this patient is somehow different.

When I spoke to him today (softly, but not too softly—in a gentle, reassuring voice), I identified myself. I let him know that I was there, at his bedside. He actually smiled at me, and squeezed my hand. For a while.

I hope I was encouraging. I pray that my visit was a support and a help to my friend. God willing, it was. God bless my friend, and my friend’s wife—also my friend. God, give them both strength, to continue. God, give them both encouragement Allow them to feel the love and caring from so many. Lord, in Your mercy, hear all of our prayers.

@chaplaineliza

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Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza  And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

Day #37 – Can I Lift Someone’s Load?

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Day #37 – Can I Lift Someone’s Load?

Am I getting to that age when I am more likely to hear about an acquaintance, or even a friend, who has recently died? Or, am I in a profession where that is more likely?

How about, both?

A good friend of mine died last week. She was in hospice for a severe illness. The illness had been in remission for several years, and when I saw her last fall, she seemed fit (if thinner) and upbeat. However, I found out recently that the illness had recurred, and I went to the hospice to visit. I hope I was a comfort to those who were there. And then, after the weekend, I found out about her death. God bless those who mourn her passing. She was a wonderful lady, and she will be greatly missed.

The spouse of a good friend of mine died yesterday. This dear one had beaten the odds by being stubborn and—gosh darn it!—remaining alive for about two years longer than the medical staff had predicted! My good friend, dear friend, has been faithfully at the spouse’s side at all times. Serving as patient advocate (very necessary!), spokesperson when needed, and generally keeping track of every little aspect of patient care.

As of yesterday, the hospice called and let my friend and family know that their dear one had died. Quietly.

Yes, I prayed. On a regular basis. Yes, I sent a number of emails over the many months, and even sent several cards by snail mail. Tomorrow, a condolence card will go into the mail. Snail mail. Several states away.

Heavy lifting, indeed.

I am accustomed to being with people in anxious times, even traumatic times. In this holiest of Holy Weeks, I stop and reflect on death. Especially on the death of our Lord Jesus. I find myself becoming quiet. Continuing to reflect. Ponder. Cry. Wish I could be there with my dear friend. And then, knowing that God is there, I think that is enough. It has to be.

God, be with my friend, the bereaved one. Be with all who mourn these dear ones’ passing. Please. Thank You for walking with them in their pain and mourning. Help them to reframe, gently. Gradually. In Jesus’ healing name I pray, amen.

@chaplaineliza

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(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And read #40acts sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er .

Fifth Sunday in Lent – Number our Days, in Prayer

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Sunday, March 22, 2015

Fifth Sunday in Lent – Number our Days, in Prayer

I have visited hospitals and a hospice myself during the past few weeks, so I have been thinking about serious illness and death. On top of that, I am currently walking with and praying with several acquaintances as they prepare to transition from this world to the next. I try to be supportive to their families and loved ones, as well, offering to do what I can. Sometimes, I sit quietly in the room beside the family as they prepare for the transition. Whatever they might need, I try to supply it.

Several days ago, I attended a panel discussion sponsored by Life Matters at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. The discussion centered on end-of-life concerns. I was particularly interested in how the representatives on the panel came from different religious groups, yet had so much in common when having end-of-life discussions. The most poignant remark (and my take-away for the evening) came from my acquaintance Rabbi Joe Ozarowski with Jewish Child and Family Services. He quoted his mentor: “Everyone has an expiration date.”

So true! Especially at such a thoughtful season of the year as the Lenten season, it is good to consider our mortality. As I am reminded by Psalm 90, teach us to number our days. For a few days more! In just a matter of days, Lent will have come and gone, Palm Sunday and Holy Week will be past, and the blessed celebration of Easter will once again be here.

I am encouraging us all to consider our expiration date in the revealing light of Lent as well as the blessed light of Easter. Yes, these are serious things to consider. However, we can make each day count by numbering our days.

Dear God, allow each of us to come before You in spirit and in truth. Help each one to be aware of our human-ness and our mortality. I think those are good things to consider, prayerfully. Dear Jesus, help each of us to remember You and Your journey to Jerusalem as Lent comes to a close. For each of us, please provide the knowledge, opportunities and experience each of us needs to not only live, but to flourish. In Jesus’ name, amen.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And read #40acts sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er .

Day #27 – Widen Your Circle? Mine, Too.

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Friday, March 20, 2015

Day #27 – Widen Your Circle? Mine, Too.

I have been widening my circle this past week. I attended a yearly conference for substance abuse counseling. (I have a state certificate, a CADC.) So, I need continuing education hours. Lo and behold, I really enjoyed myself at the conference. Plus—I made some new friends.

So, yes. I did, indeed, widen my circle in the past few days.

Today, however, was another matter. I read the email from #40acts this morning, before I left the house. As I considered today’s suggestion, I became sad. You see, I had made plans to go see a dear friend, a senior who is seriously ill. This dear one will not be here much longer.

My circle is widening, indeed. To heaven, above.

Yes, I did make a visit. My friend was—to our eyes—unresponsive. But in some deep, profound sense, God knew I was there. And I hope my dear friend—in some way—knew so, too.

Last night, I attended a panel discussion on end-of-life medical issues, and the differences of opinion each of several different religious groups had on suffering, hospice, and end-of-life decisions. I was particularly struck by what my acquaintance Rabbi Joe said. (He got this piece of wisdom from one of his older rabbi mentors.) “Everyone has an expiration date.”

The expiration date is almost here for my dear senior friend. (You’ll be saying hello to God, soon.)

I know many people don’t even consider this aspect of widening the circle. Gee, for some, it’s enough of a challenge to say hello to a stranger on the street, or in a coffee shop! Yet, our circles continue to expand as each of us continues to try to stretch and grow.

Why not smile? Say hello? Go one step further, and strike up a conversation with someone. Anyone. Or, even invite someone new to coffee, or a movie.

I wish God’s blessings to you! Whether my expiration date is near or far, I hope and pray that you rejoice in the days God has given to us. I am trying my very best to rejoice in my days.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And read #40acts sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er .

Heal, O Lord! We Pray.

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – January 28, 2015

Heal, O Lord! We Pray.

O, to be healed!

I was a chaplain for most of the past ten years. Regularly, I saw patients and their loved ones in serious, traumatic, even end of life situations. People asked, no, begged me to intercede on their behalf. Or, on their loved one’s behalf. And, I would.

I know the extreme sadness and grief of a patient and family as life ebbs away. I recognize the agony and despair over a difficult diagnosis of a serious illness. Yet, I would pray when asked. Even, when patients and loved ones had no words and I left them, exited the room in respectful silence. I prayed then, too.

Right now, I have a good friend whose dear loved one is in hospice. It’s been a several-year fight, a serious series of pitched battles. The dear loved one is sinking, slipping gently and gradually away. And I pray.

“Why?” “Why me?” “Why my loved one?” When asked this, I often must say, “I am sorry. I don’t know.” Truly, I don’t know why this person, and not that one.

I know some things about prayer, though. I know prayer is communication with God. I know God wants us to be in relationship—with God, as well as with one another. I know prayer is love. I know prayer shows my concern for others as well as a request for encouragement and support from God. I know God will encourage and support me, too, if I ask.

So, these are things I know. Rather, I strive to remind myself of them sometimes, at those times when I have doubts, or fears, or am angry with God.

This thing I also know: as soon as each person is born into the world, we all know how they are going to get out of it. Each one is going to die. (I am sure of this. If you think hard about it, you are, too.) We don’t know when, we aren’t sure how long each one has. Just—each of us has an allotted span of days. As Psalm 90 tells us, “teach us to number our days.” Count each day as precious. Live one day at a time.

And I pray.

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Why not visit my sister blog, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.

(also published at www.matterofprayer.net