The Problem with Forgiveness?

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – January 23, 2015

The Problem with Forgiveness?

The problem with forgiveness—is me.

Yes, this post contains more about forgiveness. Such a huge topic. Huge in God’s eyes, and a gaping hole in mine, too. Gaping in the sense that I sometimes find it so hard to do.

My, my. I am oh, so grateful for God’s forgiveness to me! I can sing God’s praises all day long for forgiveness, grace and mercy, abundantly poured out upon me. But the minute I am expected to extend just a little bit of that forgiveness towards some other person . . . especially towards someone I particularly dislike, or someone I just can’t forgive? Well, then. Forgiveness might be out of the question.

It reminds me of a story. A story that Rabbi Jesus told (check out Matthew 18:21-35).

Once there was a man, a servant of a powerful king. Somehow, he found himself in the position of owing the king a huge amount of money, more than the servant could ever pay back. The king had the servant dragged before him. The servant groveled and pleaded and threw himself on his face. The king relented, and forgave the servant his huge debt.

On his way home, the forgiven servant meets a fellow servant of the king. The second servant owes the forgiven servant a small amount of money. However—the forgiven servant forgets completely about the abundant forgiveness, grace and mercy the king extended to him. The forgiven servant has the second servant thrown into debtors’ prison, immediately.

When the king hears about this from the other servants, the king is outraged. Upbraids the forgiven servant, and tells him that the forgiveness is cancelled, and he is now going to prison until the huge debt is paid off. All because the formerly-forgiven servant forgot all about the incredible gift of forgiveness, grace and mercy he had been given by the king.

Wow. Right between the eyes, Jesus. Upside the head, with a two by four. I get it.

You want me to forgive. No matter what. That parable’s enough to make me throw myself on my face, in front of You, and stay there for a long, long time. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lord.

Forgive me.

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Why not visit my sister blog, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.

Busy—Busy—Terribly Busy. Too Busy to Pray?

matterofprayer blog post for Thursday, October 9, 2014

Busy—Busy—Terribly Busy. Too Busy to Pray?

Have you ever had one of those days—no, one of those weeks when you were so terribly busy that you didn’t even have time to turn around? That’s what my week looks like, this week.

What is high on my priority list, you ask? I am preparing for an exciting event! A presentation on the basics of prayer and meditation. During the past twenty years, I’ve led prayer events, transitioned into adult bible studies, and Sunday school classes for some years. I continued with more training, which led to preaching, group facilitation, presentations and lectures, and some articles. Now, I branch out with this particular presentation, integrating prayer and meditation with basic recovery principles. The time is counting down! Zero hour is fast approaching.

I currently serve as a pastor. Well and good. A busy work life there! I am also a certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC). In this latest presentation, I am striving to integrate what I know and have learned about prayer and meditation over the past decades with the wisdom found in the Twelve Steps of recovery.

All this is wonderful! I am doing innovative, edifying work! Praise the Lord! So . . . where’s the problem?

“Busy—busy—terribly busy!” That line from a Veggie Tales song is stuck in my head. I admit it. I am and I have been too busy to pray. It’s not that I haven’t prayed at all for days and days. No. I did find a half hour yesterday morning. But, that’s it for the week. And last week, too. I have not been faithful to my morning routine of over a year—and a hard-won routine it is, too! Ever since last September until last week, I have been praying at least five days a week. For at least half an hour. This is coming from a person who, for decades, had such difficulty finding regular times not only for prayer, but for spiritual disciplines of any kind! (Don’t just take my word for it. Ask my spiritual director of ten years, and my long-time therapist. They’ll tell you.)

I am fessing up, coming clean about my shortcomings. Forgive me, Lord. I know, You’ve heard me again and again, for years, coming to You repeatedly. Saying “I’m sorry,” with my face to the ground. I really meant it, practically every time. And, I really mean it again.

Let’s pray. Gracious God, dear Lord Jesus, You are lover of my soul. I have no other refuge than to seek Your face. Even when I forget to come to You, or get “too busy” to come to You, I know You are my only refuge, my true hope. Thank You for the plenteous grace that will, indeed, cover all my sin. Thank You, dear Lord, that I am invited to hide in You while the storms of life and the busy-ness of the moment fill my mind and clutch at my heart. Thank You for Your gracious, healing presence, now and always. Amen.

@chaplaineliza

(also published at www.matterofprayer.net