Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Monday, May 11, 2015
Reflecting Further on the River. Bittersweet.
I didn’t want to leave the metaphor of the river yet. I know, there’s a great deal of the book ahead, and I am only in the second chapter. But . . . the river seems to me to be a telling, insightful way of describing my journey. My life.
The path of my particular river has not always been even and smooth. No, there have been rough patches. I have even lost my way, following beside the river, since it has gone underground or through brambles and thorns on the way.
I appreciated several of the questions Margaret Silf posed, as she gave suggestions for those reading her book. Among those questions, the first significant one was: “What kind of obstructions or hazards has [your river] had to negotiate?” 
Ah, this brought back memories. And, very few were pleasant. For example, when I was in school as a tween and teen, I was a lonely child. Extremely isolated and awkward. I don’t often wish to go back there in my memories.
The second question had a more positive spin to it. “As you let your mind wander back along the riverbanks you have known, what landmarks make you feel glad and grateful? Perhaps particular people or experiences? Have you ever told those concerned what a difference they made to your journey?” 
Yes, I have let several people know how much they have meant to me, over the years. I am so glad I did. They supported me and encouraged me when very few people did. However, there were those who I never had a chance to thank. I feel so badly. Especially for two seniors, Miss Rose and Grandpa Ray. God rest their souls. They were always so encouraging and supportive to me. I thank God for them, whenever I remember them. Wonderful people.
And, yet. Thinking back on my life—tracing back the riverbanks—I find I am torn. Yes, there have been good times. But, a goodly portion of my life has been negative, for several decades. And, yet. One particularly positive thing I can say is that there are more good things going on now than bad. I am jumping for joy over that. (Modified rapture.) You can be sure.
Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.
 Silf, Margaret, Inner Compass: Introduction to Ignatian Spirituality (Chicago: Loyola Press, 1999), 16-17.