Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Day #13 – I Missed the Nudge. Forgive Me, God.
When I read today’s suggestion for a generous act, I could relate. Boy, could I relate! The Nudge. I hadn’t given it such a charming name, but I knew what the author of today’s post was talking about.
Let’s step back. What on earth is the Nudge? According to today’s article from #40acts, “The Nudge is that inner impression you get . . . a sense that says, I need to move from awareness to action. I need to engage. . . . The Nudge is when you see a need and you make something happen. “
“If you follow it, The Nudge will take you places you never thought you’d go.”
Yes, I have followed that Nudge, periodically. I have had people come up to me out of the blue and I have provided something for them. Or they have given me something I badly needed, or made a comment that I gratefully received. But in this case, I did not follow that Nudge.
It was about three weeks ago, when the whole upper Midwest area was in the middle of a deep freeze. I had stopped at the cut-rate grocery store, and was returning home. Not the best neighborhood to be driving in, either. The temperature was hovering right around 0 degrees F, with the wind chill gusting from -15 to -20 degrees. Wickedly cold! Fine, hard snow pellets blew sideways through the dark night, and I remember thinking—briefly—that I was heartily glad I had a warm car.
Several blocks later, I was arrested by the sight of a shorter man, all bundled up with a parka and layers of scarves, waiting in a bus enclosure. The enclosure at least kept him dry from the snow above, but not out of the wind whipping sideways, and back and forth. Plus, the driving snow, penetrated into the shelter of the enclosure like constant icy pins.
He carried a plastic foam-filled lunch bag. He looked forlorn, almost doggedly resigned to waiting for the bus. Which was not coming for at least ten minutes, more likely fifteen. (I knew, since I had just come down the street on which he was waiting.)
As I drove past the man, I had a very strong urge to give him a ride. It was so strong, almost as if I had been physically directed and bodily turned to pick him up. But—I did not.
Sure, I had some valid excuses. Primarily, I was a woman, he was a man. I realize I have done such things in the past, but . . . some niggling fear hid inside me, not far under the surface. Second, I was exhausted. The time was almost eleven o’clock at night, and all I wanted was my bed. Badly. Third, when I saw the man, I was already driving through the green light. Leaving him behind me.
I had an internal tussle. Sure, I could have circled right and gone back. But, even as I fought with myself internally, I continued to drive. And got further and further away. And besides, I was exhausted. (I think I mentioned that already.)
So, I did not obey the Nudge. God, please forgive me!
Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.
(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )