Prayer While Losing Heart

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Prayer While Losing Heart

When I read this reading, the bottom dropped out of my stomach. Oh, such a sad thing, to be so self-sufficient, and yet so alone. Father Nouwen must have known someone who was like this. (Or, perhaps even he was like this, now and again.)

When someone grits their teeth and tries really hard to go it on their own, I look at that person and am divided in my thoughts. Yes, I acknowledge their persistence and perseverance. Going it all alone can show signs of strength and stick-to-it-ive-ness. I honor that. Truly.

However…when someone presumes that they absolutely must do it on their own, or else they lose some of their person-hood…”with this mindset you will become weary and exhausted from your efforts to prove that you can do it alone and every failure will become cause for shame.” [1]

My sneaking suspicion is that Father Nouwen might be writing this about himself. Either that, or about someone he knows very well. Oh, I do hope that who ever he was writing this about found some sort of assistance and help from even one person. What Nouwen writes about sounds so lonely, and weary-making. Someone’s sense of honor is not so easily impugned. Asking for help every once in a while is not a threat.

This so sadly reminds me of the Paul Simon song “I Am a Rock.”

“I am a rock, /I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain; /And an island never cries.” [2]

I hope and pray that the one Father Nouwen wrote about found someone to share their burdens with, and someone to pray with. What is more, God will surely send fellowship into the lives of God’s people. All we need do is ask.

@chaplaineliza

 

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Why not visit my companion blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.  #PursuePEACE. My Facebook page, Pursuing Peace – Thanks! And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

[1] With Open Hands: Bring Prayer into Your Life, Henri J. M. Nouwen (United States of America: Ave Maria Press, 2005), 87.

[2] “I Am a Rock,” Paul Simon, Simon & Garfunkel album Sounds of Silence (Columbia, January 17, 1966)

O Lord, Who art Thou? Where art Thou?

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Friday, October 9, 2015

O Lord, Who art Thou? Where art Thou?

Seeking God with all my heart? I wish I could. Lord, forgive me, but I do not seek You all the time. Or, even most of the time. The best I can do is some of the time.

Today’s prayer is about Seeking. The prayer I chose for today from The Oxford Book of Prayer concerns “Thy Kingdom Come” (Prayer 187, page 68) [1]

Today’s prayer is brief. Only one line. It arrested me, as I read through several prayers, slowly. Here it is: “O great God. Who art Thou? Where art Thou? Show Thyself to me.”

To give my readers some idea about the Book of Prayer, the editor George Appleton usually presents the prayers to his readers without comment. Or, periodically, with short or spare comments. This particular prayer was shorter than the comment accompanying it.

The editor, Mr. Appleton, wrote concerning this prayer as follows: “Vendayya [the author], first outcaste convert in the Church of South India; prayer offered every day for three years.”

I am not certain which arrested me more; the brief prayer, or the accompanying explanation. The first touched my heart deeply. The second made me want to bow my head in both sincere grief and shame at his treatment from being Dalit, or outcaste; and heartfelt praise for his persistence and perseverance for praying such a moving prayer every day. The Dalits are still looked down upon in India today … I cannot even imagine what the highly stratified Indian society was like in the nineteenth century, when Vendayya lived.

Dear God, I know I treat people as if they are “less-than” or “not-as-good-as.” It’s not as often now, but I still do. I realized this as soon as I read this editorial comment. Dear Lord, forgive me for wishing to separate myself or think myself “better-than.” (Parenthetical note: in retrospect, I realize that in my immature twenties, I used to treat certain others as “less-than” more often, to my shame and discredit. It is better now. I have continued to grow, mature and develop. Dear Lord, forgive me! And gracious God, thank You for progress!)

As for the second part? The accompanying explanation by Mr. Appleton? Again, I am painfully aware of how far I have to go. How shockingly little persistence I have, in prayer. Now, in certain other areas, I know I am persistent. (Some might even say stubborn.) Give me the ability and the heart to be persistent, persevering, and constant in prayer. Please, oh, please.

Dear Lord, gracious God, in Your loving and divine mercy, hear my sincere prayers.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

[1] The Oxford Book of Prayer, edited by George Appleton. (New York: Oxford University Press, reissued 2009), 68.