In Which I Visit Hospice

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Wednesday, June 29, 2016

In Which I Visit Hospice

I paid a visit to a dear, senior friend today. He is in a care center. He is in hospice care. The time is short. It won’t be long, now.

Even though I had not seen him often in the past eight or ten years, he and his wife lived in the same area my husband and I live in. We would run into each other on occasion. I haven’t seen him for almost a year. He has changed markedly.

We have a number of mutual friends and acquaintances, too. I understand—from the nurses’ station—that he has a number of visitors each day, trooping in and out of his room. A well-liked man, and a man with a definite sense of humor. I will miss him very much.

I feel odd, seeing my friend in hospice. He isn’t supposed to be there, in that hospital bed. He is supposed to be hale, and hearty, and making wise cracks. His wife would laugh, except when he made bad puns. (As would happen on occasion.)

He is not making wise cracks any longer. Sadly.

I know the drill. I was a hospital chaplain for almost ten years. What the heck, I have seen relatives and close friends in the hospital. I’ve been a pastor for more than two years, and I’ve seen parishioners in hospital beds before. But, somehow, this patient is somehow different.

When I spoke to him today (softly, but not too softly—in a gentle, reassuring voice), I identified myself. I let him know that I was there, at his bedside. He actually smiled at me, and squeezed my hand. For a while.

I hope I was encouraging. I pray that my visit was a support and a help to my friend. God willing, it was. God bless my friend, and my friend’s wife—also my friend. God, give them both strength, to continue. God, give them both encouragement Allow them to feel the love and caring from so many. Lord, in Your mercy, hear all of our prayers.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza  And, read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er

Day #21 – Be Silly? When Smiles Happen, Naturally.

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – Friday, March 13, 2015

Day #21 – Be Silly? When Smiles Happen, Naturally.

Silliness can be uproariously funny. Have you ever laughed with a friend? Laughed at a joke, and then, kept on laughing? Or, especially with children. Have you ever made silly faces with children? Your children, or grandchildren, or nieces and nephews? Children have such freedom to be silly. Joyously, happily free to be themselves.

But I thought of silliness in a slightly different context. Silliness helps lighten serious moments. Silliness makes difficult things bearable. A smile can be a precursor to silliness. I still remember dear, retired Pastor Carl (who died aged one hundred years old last summer) telling me about twelve years ago that I have a lovely smile, and I ought to use it often.

I worked as a chaplain in a busy urban hospital for some years. My friendly smile was (and still is) a great opportunity for me to begin conversations. I have had people say that my smile lit up a hospital room, or the hospital hallway.

But—I’m thinking specifically when my smile lightened tense situations. Or, when a humorous comment punctuated with my signature smile helped ease a difficult time. Especially when working with the medical staff in the hospital. It can get pretty hectic in the emergency department. Or, intensive care.

Sometimes, the staff lightened the atmosphere with “black” or “gallows” humor. Absolutely! It served a purpose, and helped people deal with really serious situations or traumatic events. Part of my duties were to reach out, to be there for the medical staff. If I could be a calm, less-anxious presence for the staff as well as for the patients and their loved ones, then I was effectively doing my job. So, did I sometimes smile when I greeted the staff? You bet. When the nurses were kidding around, even a bit silly at the nurses’ station, did I join in from time to time? You bet.

That’s one of the things I miss most of all. Yes, the supportive relationships, yes, the one-on-one interaction. But the smiles, and the silliness. That was so important. And life-giving. And just plain silly. Sometimes, silliness hits the spot.

God, I know You have a sense of humor. And, You have given that same humor—silliness—to people, to use. Even when things are dark and desperate, we can still use our sense of humor to lighten situations and ease difficulties. And, we can laugh. Smile. Just be silly.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

(Check out #40acts; doing Lent generously at www.40acts.org.uk )

Why not visit my sister blogs, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.   @chaplaineliza And read #40acts sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er .

Pray for the One I Love (Focus Friday!)

Matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers – February 6, 2015

Pray for the One I Love (Focus Friday!)

Today’s prayer suggestion caught me off guard. I stared at the open page for some seconds.

Yes, I can think of the person I love most in the world. My husband, Kevin. I love you, sweetheart! I really do! But—the next words surprised me. “How can you see the presence of God in that person?” I do not think of Kevin in those terms very often. But, here is my attempt.

I see God’s presence in Kevin through his honesty, genuineness, and integrity. Through his appreciation of beauty in language, music, nature, and order in all things. I enjoy and appreciate my husband’s sense of humor and his creativity—both qualities that I know God has in abundance! And, I respect Kevin for his wisdom and discernment.

God, thank You for the gift of knowing Kevin, of having him as my companion, my friend, my husband and my lover. I thank You for the times we have to talk and joke, and for the times to be serious, even somber. I thank You for the opportunities we give each other to be apart from each other, and the trust and respect we have for each other. I thank You for Kevin’s excellent work ethic, and I praise his ability to make music—whether in the style of classical violin, bluegrass, or Irish fiddle music.

Dear God, thank You for the gift of love. I know that the Apostle John said to his readers, “We love, because He first loved us.” Lord, I know Kevin and I can give and receive love freely because of You and Your love for all of us. I am glad of our love, caring, and liking for each other. I pray that You bless that love, and encourage each of us to nourish those positive, loving feelings for each other. In Your mercy, Lord, hear all of my prayers.

This is a worthwhile suggestion. I felt it deeply in my emotional center, as well as my intellect. May I suggest that my readers follow the same example? Carry out and follow the same suggestion? Let me know how you do!

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Why not visit my sister blog, “the best of” A Year of Being Kind.